I feel like such a failure. A month ago I went to the doctor and weighted in at 204 pounds. So I told myself that was the last straw, I was tired of feeling fat and that there was nothing I could do about it.
The following Saturday, I began working-out and watching what I eat. I started this process with a five mile walk. Bad idea, my body felt worse than if it had gone through labor (well, not quite, but pretty close). After my walk, I began my workout program on Monday, and have done it Monday-Saturday (with Sundays off), for the last 3 weeks.
The program I do is pretty intense (especially if you are out of shape), so you would think that by the end of the 4th week, I would see some progress for all my sweat and pain.
Well, the only progress I have seen is that I have a bit more energy and that I find the time to shower afterward (which to me is a small feat on it's own with two highly active kids running around). I say this because today I did the worst thing I could've possibly done, I weighed myself, and guess what, instead of losing 10 pounds (which was my starting goal), I gained a few pounds.
I called Jim almost in tears. He told me to calm down and that it was perfectly normal to gain weight before you lose it, and to stick with the program. He also told me that he has noticed a difference and that I will lose the weight, just stay off the scale. With that little bit of encouragement, I still feel a little disappointed. I don't feel smaller, I don't think I look smaller, but I wont quit. I have done that in the past and promised myself not to do it this time.
I want to be healthy and be able to keep up with my kids with little effort. Lately I have been able to do that more and more, so I guess the workout is working for something, even if it is not working off my waistline yet.